rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You'll be the first to get a "it's herpes simplex 1" cigar.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
What can I say I sleep with 40 year old Cougars because my mother gave me away at birth and apparently that's why says my therapist
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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