I created a new tequila drink. it is a mix of excitement and fear instilled in innocent people.
You know there's only so much I can do with a great personality.
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
Randomize
