I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
She wanted to get out of there before you guys woke up so she wouldn't let me find my underwear. Lol So I apologize to whoever finds that in your room.
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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