I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
Randomize
