I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just so you know, a true one night stands ends with a 7 minute blow job after eating a sandwich she made for you while the taxi you called for her comes
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
I'm having to shit out rocks
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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