It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
