You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
