I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
