My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
Randomize
