Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
They were actually really boring considering how we met them.
howd you meet them?
They got shit-faced and decided to take a train to a city none of them had ever been to. We found them wandering the ghetto, with a bottle of gin and singing Disney songs.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Randomize
