Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Randomize
