I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
if wiping your ass w an envelope isnt the definition of hitting "financial rock bottom " then nothing is!
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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