For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Is it bad that when someone says the phrase "helicopter dick" I immediately think of you?
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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