I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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