just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
