it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
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