so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
You know what my problem is? I'm like a machine designed for the sole intention of removing the pants from damaged girls.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
