Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
