ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Oh also we fucked while one of the old Rudolph movies was playing on tv so it was festive
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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