Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
This is the high leading the old right now
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
