All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
