My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
So what's the verdict on pumpkin smoothies with vodka? I puked.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
