the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
