You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
