Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
You know you're sufficiently drunk when the 411 dude just says, "Fuck it! I'll Google that shit for you, what movie do you want to see?" and proceeds to give you showtimes for 3 different theatres.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
you're hired as official boob wrangler
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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