that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
you are never too drunk for berry picking
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I have so many feelings about this burrito
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
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