Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
She's cheated on every boyfriend she's ever had with the same guy. She's like a slutty yo-yo.
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
