pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Randomize
