she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
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