like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
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Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
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I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
i think im in europe. pls send help
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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