I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
