I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
note to self... there IS such a thing as having too many birthday shots...
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
And apparently midway I said "hurry up and finish so we can talk about what a bad idea this was"
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Randomize
