dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
