Are you guys doing anything tonight?
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.