so I'm never txting u again after today...
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"