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So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Randomize
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