Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
Do you know why I woke up with a half peeled lemon in my purse with a post-it that said "eat me" on it?
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?