He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
23 Adults Confess The Irrational Fears They Had When They Were Kids
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
These 25 Women First Experienced Sexual Harassment At A Shocking Age
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.