I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Randomize