I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
just fought my dog for the chicken pie I dropped on the floor.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Randomize
