at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel as though the word "tired" has become synonymous with "too high to manage the stairs" lately
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
We talked him into tasing himself.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
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