Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
