I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he told me I talked like a deaf person
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
Well I may have gotten laid but I over drafted buying pizza so I think that negates everything
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
