in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Tell her she can't have a vagina
I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
I had fun. Till he melissa etheridged my ass and came to my window.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
We bought a hamster while completely stoned and 2 hours later returned it because your mother wouldnt let you bring it in her house. You cried. a lot.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Randomize
