I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
