I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
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