I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
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