Yeah unless I can find some idiot to make love to
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
So many bounce houses so little time
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
25 Odd Things These Pathetic People Do For Enjoyment
It's Ash Wednesday.
If you really think that not eating meat on a weeknight is going to keep you out of hell, fine. Can I use that chimichurri you made?
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.