i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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