when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Having the sex-a-thon in the back yard led to some really odd tan lines.
Like handprints on my lower back...
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim