ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize
