We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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