ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
My birth control alarm gets more depressing every night.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
Randomize
