I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
i asked your drunk ass where the fuck you were going and you screamed “WENDY’S BITCH”.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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