She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
i'm drinking whiskey out of a ziplock bag in a movie theater. i'm THAT girl.
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Ah you cut my boxers off with scissors, we're way past introductions
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
