I cockslap morals
People in love make me want to vomit
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I feel bad for the cleaning lady. All you can smell is latex and Jaegermeister
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
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