No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
