I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Randomize