She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.
My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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