I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Miscalculate d the jungle juice, it's actually 10%. Can't taste the diff anyway but my stomcha is warm. Come play pongm.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
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