There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Woke up on the stairs at my parents house. Good start to vacation.
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
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