JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
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