Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
