I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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