I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
His dick was so bent it was like fucking captain hook's hand for 2 hours
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
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