For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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