Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
I just gift wrapped bread.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
