Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
