just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
He grabbed my tits and sang "you are so beautiful" to them before faceplanting into my chest
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
