i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My breasts were aching with rage.
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
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