i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
And I made some girl take out the trash, load and unload the dishwasher, swifter, and clean the counters. So don't act like I don't do anything.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Randomize
