You're a womanizer and a bitch.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
he has a knack for choosing the worst time to masturbate
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
So, I need to know. Why did you spraypaint your underwear gold?
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